It is a really good situation for really intense spiritual training and working to improve my spiritual beliefs and the astrology system that goes with them.  But, I do not find living with my sister and my nephew(with legal problems) is at all a supportive environment for me, but tends to make things quite difficult for me.  I did better in the 1970’s, 1980’s and 1990’s when often living in bad neighborhoods in the inner city of Roanoke, Va.  I do need to move to a place that is very convenient to some one who does not drive(and for good reason as to the safety of others).  I do best in a place with a simple bus system and a lot of places useful to me within walking distance.  I have never gotten a place to live without using connections.  I just seem to not have any good connections here now.  I do have money I inherited, but do not want to exhaust that to quickly since I do not qualify for social security due to limited work history.

I feel like the USA has gone backward in recent history when it comes to finding affordable temporary places to live,  I just do not believe that i could find cheap hotels that one can pay really low weekly rates anymore.  I feel we are actually regressing backward in this country spiritually.  I feel that even getting necessities like state ID cards are becoming more difficult for people like me.  So I feel that is why I am not as adventurous as when I was younger when it comes to relocating to a better place for me.

My limited visual memory and limited finer motor skills make life in most areas very difficult for me,  which has helped me to focus extremely intensely in the spiritual area in a practical rational way with my limited visual ability being good at dealing with core formulas/principles.  Often one can make ones limitations work to your benefit in helping one see things from a different angle than those with more “normal” abilities. The problem that people who are different in there abilities and tend to really go deeper in a particular area run into, is that when one goes beyond the mindset that prevails people tend to not be very receptive to what they have to offer. .  Often people have an overconfidence that leads them to believe they already have the best answers and need not pay attention to someone who dares to try to improve on their answers. The spiritual/religious area is an area very resistant to advancement and tends to not be that open to a more rational/sane/practical spiritual approach in both beliefs and training/practices.

I am very good at what I do, but it is so hard for me to translate that into being able to contribute what I have of value to the world.  Especially when so many people are unable to understand someone as unique(different from the norm)as me.  But being different in how my mind and body has giving me a unique perspective that I would not have if I was more “normal”.  Some people require because of their complex differences from others, with the more advanced spiritual capability and the understanding that makes that possible, in order to function on the level required in order to be able to continue to survive in this world.  I am really good at dealing with those who have the biggest spiritual challenges in their lives, due to what I have gone through and the extreme effort I have put into understanding spiritually what is required to become really good at handling them.

I have done best in the past when I was in partnership with someone else who complemented my abilities.  I feel the more specialized one becomes in what one is capale of, the more one needs others with differing abilites to work with you.  One may need to spend a lot of time alone developing in the area one is specialized in, but one will often need people with the abilities one lacks to help one contribute effectively to the world what one has to offer.  Often people automatically get the support they need from a society tailored to their mind-set.  People often do not appreciate how much society supports what they do and take it for granted.  People often can be quite insensitive to people who society is not designed very well at this time to support them.  People often like to feel superior to others because they fit into society so well.  Some spiritual beliefs even tend to be more designed for those who readily fit into the prevailing mind-set and the societal structure that goes with it.  Often those who are do not fit in very well are denegrated rather than being helped in a way to be able to contribute their value to society.  Society does tend to waste a lot of its talent.  It is no wonder this world is so messed up in so many ways.  It could be in such better shape, it is would improve spiritually  in how it treats people who are different.

Somehow, I need to find people who could personally benefit from what I have to offer in enabling them to take on bigger spiritual challenges within themselves and in the world they live in.  I have a lot to offer to the right people.  I do not want to connect with people who see me as a burden.  I deal enough with those type of people when it comes to my relatives, that I have been dependent on, and have helped spiritually without much credit.

Great innovation often happens in fields that have been resistant to progress for quite some time. In the spiritual/religious field, resistance to progress tend to readily happen, since beliefs run deep and can be deeply implanted and can be very resistant to better spiritual beliefs that are more rational and effective in the challenging world we presently exist in and perform in spiritually. I know from personal experience, since I have faced some really intense challenges in my life, that under intense crisis conditions one needs rational spiritual beliefs to keep one sane and functioning well spiritually. That irrational spiritual beliefs tend not to serve one well in a crisis. Since I use a type of spiritual crisis training as part of my daily routine, I am in good position to make sure my beliefs are rational enough to handle the roughest of conditions I could face spiritually in this challenging world.

I add this due to a comment pertaining to what I posted in the paragraph just above this I got on another site that I posted this on: We connect with God(the universal spirit) to the degree we connect spiritually with the physical reality we exist in. Good spiritual training helps us as individuals increase our connection with reality. When we lose our connection with reality as a result of losing our connection with our self, we no longer will have a good connection with God. But, we can become readily controlled by certain spiritual ideologies that have a lot of psychic support presently in this world, when we do something that causes us to lose our self awareness. A lot of spiritual beliefs systems sort of brainwash people into their ideology. Spiritual innovation can not happen unless people keep their awareness of who they are as independent spirits and do not allow the current not that adequate spiritual energies and the beliefs that support them, that dominate this Earth right now control them. People can connect with energies that are projected psychically by believers to represent God in a way that is not good enough for the challenges of the reality we now exist in.