I am extremely neurodivergent with aphantasia: very limited visual memory

I will do my best to explain how my neurodivergent mind is limited visually. Besides having limited visual memory, I have limited finer motor skills. Both may be related in some way.

It can be very frustrating to try to find good information on my visual memory disabilities. I do have good vision with glasses, just am nearsighted. I do have aphantasia: meaning I can not visualize much at all with my eyes closed. I do not remember practically anything visually beyond on a very basic level. But I do know the names of an awful lot of things in this world I live in and have a good concept of what they are how they function and about whether they function well or are attractive. I may not remember a lot of details, but can remember if a scene is beautiful and remember it’s general features(water, river, mountain, cliff, rocks, trees, etc, but without much detail unless something got my attention that my mind made a special mental note of it. I can not hold a real picture in my minds eye to remember anything. I have to remember with very limited visualization.

I do dream at night and do remember basic plot, emotional impact, and some key characters at times, but practically nothing visual is remembered. Action happens in my dreams that are similar to waking experiences to quite a degree, but do not remember them visually. I can recognize things and remember them often by their name and some of their characteristics, not by a visual image.

I am not a good eyewitness, but can often figure out what went wrong and right in a situation and who was at fault. I may not be able to describe a person, other than by context through what they were doing or basically communicating. I might notice one person was big in size or was muscular. Might remember by making a mental note hair color or if they are well dressed. Just no smaller details at all.

I can not drive safely because I can not keep track visually of everything I need to in order to avoid making dangerous mistakes at times. I often make mistakes in my daily life keeping track of things if I do not focus an awful lot on not making them. I really must focus on not making costly mistakes.

I find that this world is extremely ignorant when it comes to understanding compound or complex visual memory disabilities.That they only deal with them separately as using a search engine on the Internet demonstrates. My great spiritual expertise I have developed does help me a great deal to compensate for my limitations.

Autocratic Mythology/Narrative Based Spiritual Energy is Destroying 0ur World

Back in March of 1992 I had two near death experiences due to the stress of trying to reach the world with my spiritual perspective. My heart was racing, I could not sleep because I had to consciously focus on my breathing to keep my heart functioning safely. I had done extreme physical exercise for quite a while previously and learned breathing techniques to bring my heart safely back under control afterwards. So I had a good technique. Eventually I could not stay awake and a near death experience happened. I had to really fight to not die and leave this planet in the first near death experience. The second near death experience was not like the nightmare type experience the first one was. In the second I connected with the love energy of my Mother, so it was a nice experience. It was my mother that enabled me to incarnate on this planet.

After these two near death experiences, I had to question everyone of my spiritual beliefs and develop better spiritual beliefs that would enable me to better survive in the very challenging spiritual reality that existed in this spiritually backwards world I was living in. Autocratic spiritual beliefs are like an addictive drug. They have an irrational hold on you that prevents one from seeing reality more clearly. Autocratic spiritual energy creates leadership both on the spiritual level and in positions of power in this world. Empires die when they become so autocratic and addictive to power that they lose touch with reality and can not face the fact that they have charted a course of action based on misinformation and have developed a distorted view of reality based on a false narrative that they have become addicted to.

Traditional religion also get addicted to false narratives or mythologies. We need to grow up spiritually and become more rational/reality focused in what we believe spiritually. I had to do this myself in order to survive and have the spiritual beliefs that would enable me to survive. I also had to intensify my physical spiritual/meditative training program. I had to learn to train at an intensity no one else could train at while also focus on getting the nutrition I needed to enable me to handle such training. My heart beats extremely hard at times when I do my intense meditative exercises these days, but it can handle it. I no longer fear my heart will not be able to handle any stress that will put it into a very intense sort of “fight or flight” state.

I am use to people not understanding me or believing what I tell them about myself. Or respecting my unique view of the world or what I have of value to the world spiritually. It really takes a serious crises to force people to separate themselves from the mythologies/narratives/propaganda that they have been strongly indoctrinated from an early age by the society the were born into. I can shock some people into seeing reality more clearly when they are more receptive to me due to facing challenges in their lives that force them to be open to something new spiritually in order to survive. Surviving a very serious crises can sometimes require one do some really deep soul searching and then have the willingness to become open to an entirely new perspective on reality which challenges ones core spiritual beliefs that one has had ones entire life up to that time. It has been over 30 years after my near death experiences and in that time I have developed so much in what I have to offer to this world spiritually.

I am a neurologically different spiritual pioneer trying to get my very valuable spiritual theories and meditative techniques and new spiritual astrology system out to the public. I have so much valuable stuff here on WordPress. It may not be perfect, but it should motivate people to further develop what I have started with a similar spiritual intent as I had.

Everything happens for a reason Spiritually

We have to own our past and the circumstances that we have in the present as a result of it. The Spiritual underlies all of our physical reality and makes it operate the way it should. Spiritual law is always in effect. We are responsible for figuring out what ever situation we find ourselves in. We always have the Spiritual capacity to find a solution that will move us in a better direction Spiritually in the future. The truth can be extremely challenging to find more of. People often get polarized and settle for a partisan or one-sided perspective. They therefore set up automatic conflict with others on an opposite side. This can bring destructive results. Finding the whole truth is extremely difficult and ones mind needs to reside in the complicated middle in order to best see the whole picture.

We are not alone, we exist with other people/spirits similar to us. We need to to work with them to find out more of the truth. When we need help we need to find the right people or organizations that can best help us. We have to be careful about insensitively demanding help from those who are not in a position to properly help us. Some people get in trouble because they try to help others they should not have helped. We have to invest our energy and resources were we can do the most good while not harming are own wellbeing. Enabling people not to face the consequences of their actions can create parasitic people who do not carry their own weight Spiritually and thus pull other people down.

Having a victim mentality can weaken one Spiritually if we are not doing what it takes to get what is required to strengthen our position in life. True victims of injustice do exist. We do need crusaders to insure everyone has a level playing field and opportunity to develop what they have of value to this world. Often those who have gone through the most are able to achieve the most. People who are differently abled often can develop very special and needed abilities if provided the help and respect they need. Everyone has a reason for existing and can be developed into a valuable human resource provided the right investment is made in them. We all are here for a reason.

Just remembered: Everything happens for a reason. Spiritual law is always in effect. When two sides or more are in conflict, all sides will have some truth in their perspective. Violence and destructive/toxic behavior is not healthy. We need to try to see what all sides see, and do the hard Spiritual and mental work to put together the whole picture and find solutions to problems or conflicts that way.

In this spiritually backwards world abuse of all kinds is systematic.

I am aware of this subject personally so will approach it from that perspective. Being born neurologically different with limited visual memory and associated problems that result from that and having limited finer motor skills, I have face this type of abuse in all types of forms my whole life.

It started at an early age for me. The educational system back in the late 1950’s was not equipped to deal with me and taught me in second grade to read using stories that did not interest me enough to easily comprehend. Also could not draw pictures of family members well enough for the teacher to accept them. So ended being held back a grade. A teacher that was insensitive to me made have added to the problem. I did manage to adjust to the educational system, but just got through it in the early grades. In highschool I did do well, but I had to put in an awful lot of focus into it and did have times where I was on the very edge of really messing up, but my developing ability to handle crises got me through. But college was different and demanded more advanced visual memory capabilities and conformity to ideologies and propaganda that were based on collective visions that I could not tune into or relate to. So I did not get anything of value as to the job market from it.

After dropping out of college the first time, I remember going to an employment agency and the slick talking guy getting frustrated by my inability to convince someone to hire me. My interests in the occult and the spiritual was not what they needed. My job I had for a year at the local door factory that I got on my own without help from employment agency was extremely stressful and I had very painful digestive problems most of the time there. My health made a year there about all I could take. I did later serve two years in the Navy, which was the only option I found, but struggled there because of my typing limitations. A lot of fields require quite a bit of visual memory in order to perform them without spacing out and becoming lost as to what to do next. For someone that has normal visual capabilities it is often hard for them to understand this.

After the Navy, which I had no future in due to typing limitations, I had almost 2 years of community college, but found no career path and left despite having the GI bill supporting me. My spiritual skills were not marketable or fully developed at this time and the challenges in my life had made me to deep spiritually to put up with the limitations of traditional religions. How I survived is very complicated, but my family did help support my extremely frugal life style an awful lot.

Anyway, I feel I was abused for being neurologically different with unique abilities by both the educational system and the job market. This was the result of a political/economic system set up that was extremely insensitive to anyone who could not readily conform to it. This “one size fits all” mentality permeated all facets of it. Traditional religions and science were both based on this and the job market was so affected by this very limited perspective.

An awful lot of people are abused in our society and become toxic spiritually as a result and hence the USA has an extremely high prison population and the cycle of abuse is quite strong here. But, the rest of the world has a similar abusive climate expressed in different variations.

I find that businesses often set up a business model that does not allow for abuse to be handled well. When someone is abused, a business should have a built in mechanism to help ensure the abuse will be handled well and that the victim of the abuse is not further hurt by rigid one size fits all rules they have in place. People who are different need to be valued since their uniqueness often gives them a special perspective and value that can improve how thing function on the job and in society.

We all need housing and homelessness is a really serious problem in this world. Often domestic type abuse happens in housing, yet people are forced to sign leases that do not have safeguards in them to allow an abuser to readily escape without financial abuse also being added to the situation. I dealt with this type of situation recently with my life threatened and valuable and personal property destroyed with the police coming and doing nothing and now am dealing with the consequences of breaking a lease even though I informed the apartment management about it. They need to eat this expense and make sure in the future they have a better was of handling this. Leases should be easier to get out of when abuse or other serious reasons exist. Any business model that does not allow exceptions for these serious and special circumstance need to be forced to eat the expense involved. We need systemic changes in this world and it all starts on the spiritual level. That is why a neurologically different spiritual pioneer like me is needed in this world.

I found out recently in a blood test that my red blood cells were too big and that my thyroid gland was not producing enough hormones. Two B vitamin deficiencies(B12, and folate)usually cause that problem which main symptom is anemia. I told the doctor that I took a lot of those vitamins and was on a training program to become healthier. I had just left the abuse situation in Las Vegas and moved to San Antonio with my sister’s help. But with the energy demands of getting help from the VA to find housing my health had been affected. But the doctor told me that I was probably not absorbing the vitamins and further blood test needed to be done and was monologuing and not listening to me explain how different I was from other people. Telling me my nutritional plan didn’t work and that I was not my handling my health well on my own just instantly turned me against this doctor and I refused the further blood tests.

I then proceeded to do mostly slow meditative runs of over 100 miles a week for the next 5 weeks The type of meditative running I do, I designed myself and no one else’s does the way I do them. They are extremely difficult to do. I had adequate energy and did not feel anemic before the blood test and I definitely did not feel anemic while doing all that running, although I am now only doing about 60 miles a week. (Edit: 6 miles a day in a morning and evening run now) I am good at research and did thoroughly research the conditions the doctor told me I had and took my own path to deal with it. A neurologically different body is harder for the medical field to handle.

I hope this gives you food for thought. It is hard to cover so much at once in such a broad subject.

An intoxicating addiction to the spiritual beliefs of the past is harming spiritual progress

The addiction or drug like intoxication to the spiritual beliefs of the past is preventing more spiritual progress on this spiritually backwards planet. Spiritual programming is held deep within us and thus is not easy to change(improve on). Often hard spiritual lessons in times of crises is required to get someone to upgrade their spiritual programming.

In this spiritually backwards world we need a religion that actually works a lot better than those is the past. I know through personal experience how ineffective the predominating spiritual beliefs are. We can do so much better! That is why I am a neurologically different spiritual pioneer.

We do not need to progress at such a slow pace spiritually in a world that need people to progress a lot further spiritually. Some spiritual theories just work a lot better than others. Those who choose to progress at a faster rate spiritually will reap the rewards of doing so.

Progressing a lot further spiritually requires playing a bigger spiritual role during these challenging times here on this Earth. The belief in some overly dominating God disempowers people and harms their ability to take on more spiritually. Autocratic type leaders need to be a thing of the past with the power shifting more to individuals. We need to question and challenge all spiritual theories in order to improve on them. We do not need the belief in some type of autocratic all powerful type spiritual entity preventing people from developing more effective spiritual theories.

People become addicted to the beliefs of the past and become sort of intoxicated in them. We need to develop become more rational and accept more practical spiritual theories that actually work in the challenging physical world we all exist in right now.

The physical (earth in astrology)is vital to all of us spiritually and to our eternal existence. A religion of real value will emphasize bringing about positive change in this most spiritually challenging physical reality and not diminish its importance.

Health, healing and the Spiritual!

The spiritual plays a very strong role in helping us stay healthy and doing what it takes to become healthier! It takes really hard work to become healthier especially if you have certain vulnerabilities that make this more difficult! But, overcoming vulnerabilities and healing oneself is important if one is to reach a high level of physical and spiritual health! Scientists/medical professionals have limitations in areas that the spiritual plays a strong role in, but tends to be too arrogant to admit this and can often sound like they are preaching to people spiritually! Healing requires a wholistic effort and we need to advance a lot further in the spiritual on this spiritually backward planet if we are to better face the serious problem of the present and those that are coming in the future! All this polarization and unwillingness to see all sides of the complex issues of our times will lead to more crises in the future on this planet. Things are a lot more complex than most people realize!

My spiritual meditative running training focuses on precision, so it is slower since this takes a lot of energy to do! Expertise and precision go together and require a good grip on reality to master! Handling fear well helps one to develop expertise and handle the lessons and failure and mistakes that comes with it! Fear of failure helps one achieve an awful lot! Advancing spiritually is not easy! Getting healthier is also not easy! Getting a strong spiritual grip on life and reality is not easy! I have so much information on the internet that has not yet broke through the wall that is put up by the establishment that controls what information reaches the public! New ideas that are challenging to the status quo on this planet will always find it difficult to break through and overcome the resistance that old ideas that already have as a result of an awful lot of psychic support provided them from believers in them!

This wordpress site has a huge amount of spiritual information in my blog posts here representing a lifetime of extreme focus in this area!  I was born differently able neurologically which made this extreme focus a requirement for my survival and ability to contribute something of value to this world!  Please skim through my posts and find those that are of value to you spiritually!

My spiritual theories&techniques are needed more than ever on this spiritually backward planet!

Did do my morning 2 mile meditative run! I am able to survive in a world that has an awful lot of toxic spiritual energy that tends to be enabled by the inadequacies of our traditional religions with their lock-in spiritual theories that they often accept on blind faith! My spiritual theories/programming enables me to handle extremely challenging meditative runs! If I had the spiritual theories that are already easily available on this Earth I would not be able to handle the challenges of my life or the meditative runs that enable me to handle them! I can handle low energy states better than anyone due to my unique training!

I can handle the low energy states the body needs to go into to handle stress without harmful consequences like depression, and unhealthiness! Being unhealthy or depressed can really threaten ones survival! During a crises like the one we are having now my spiritual ideas and techniques are needed more than ever! But they are not readily available to the public to test them and find out their benefits. Beliefs(spiritual theories) of all kinds need to be tested and continuously improved on!

I have so many blog posts on this WordPress site that deal with these spiritual theories and techniques!

More thoughts on the Coronavirus and seeing the whole picture better spiritually

Our world really lacks the spiritual unity to really effectively deal with this virus! So many companies are more interested in taking advantage of the crises which is also true with political parties! It takes a lot of united effort to find solutions to serious problems and this all starts on the spiritual level! Becoming healthier so as to be able to individually fight off getting harmed by this virus also requires advancing further spiritually!

Destroying our economy hurts an awful lot of people! This virus can do more harm to people overall by this means! People who are already disadvantaged in our economy are also dying at a higher rate! Our health care industry really needs to get its act together! Science does not work that well when it is not spiritually aware enough!

I can not effectively reach people with my spiritual ideas when I am trapped in my home and unable to interact that well with people directly! The internet does not seem to help people like me get my ideas out that well! Giving up our social connections with others and civil liberties is another way this virus is harming us! All costs on our society as a whole have to be taking into account when evaluating a good strategy for effectively dealing with it! We need to become more spiritually unified in our effort to find solutions and the best solutions taking the complete picture into account!

Alcohol causes a lot of death as do many things in our society including not eating healthy enough and getting enough exercise! Spiritual exercises can also help us not die as easily! People also often takes risks in our society that are allows such as cliff climbing and other high risk trill seeking activities! Seeing the whole picture more clearly requires more spiritual advancement!

Religion needs to evolve further spiritually!

Religion involves a formal institution with structure, and also has spirituality! But dogma can often limit how advanced spiritually the energy related to a religion(church)can becomes! Spirituality does involve a lot of individual effort, but so often that which is considered spiritual by others involves a dogma and locked in mindset even if not related to an organized religion! Freedom of Religion should include spirituality, since that is what should be at the core of any good religion! The term/label “Religion” can evolve to include institutions helping advance spirituality that are always open to further advancement or improvement! Being stuck in the beliefs of the past can hinder spiritual advancement! We need to keep working at improving our spiritual theories so that they help us to perform better in the challenging physical world we now exist in that can bring out the most in us spiritually provided we make the effort to keep advancing in our understanding of the spiritual and the spiritual/meditative training techniques we use to help us function on an even higher spiritual level!

Changing my meditative training so as to better reach this world with rational spiritual theories!

I am now doing my 2 mile meditative walks a little slower and focusing more on the intensity of my breathing. I am on a new phase since I do not need to focus so hard on spiritual theory development as my astrology system is working really well! I need to just rely heavily on my current spiritual theories and programming! I will always be open to improving my spiritual theories, but need to get out of the extreme spiritual state that separates me from others in this spiritually backward world. The spiritual truth has a lot of power, which so many people do not seem to understand! Spiritual theories that work are more important than any spiritual personalities from the past. This challenging physical world is what can really test how well ones spiritual theories/programming really works. We need spiritual theories that help us better focus within this reality and that are clear enough to readily apply! We have challenging times ahead of us all on this Earth and we badly need a more rational/sane spiritual approach in order to gain the focus required to handle them effectively! Here is my link to the type of meditative walk I now do! I stopped doing the meditative run, but still mix sprints within my walks!

https://astrogoodwin.wordpress.com/2019/03/19/how-i-do-my-latest-meditative-run-and-walk/

  • Thomas Goodwin "astrogoodwin"