I am extremely neurodivergent with aphantasia: very limited visual memory

I will do my best to explain how my neurodivergent mind is limited visually. Besides having limited visual memory, I have limited finer motor skills. Both may be related in some way.

It can be very frustrating to try to find good information on my visual memory disabilities. I do have good vision with glasses, just am nearsighted. I do have aphantasia: meaning I can not visualize much at all with my eyes closed. I do not remember practically anything visually beyond on a very basic level. But I do know the names of an awful lot of things in this world I live in and have a good concept of what they are how they function and about whether they function well or are attractive. I may not remember a lot of details, but can remember if a scene is beautiful and remember it’s general features(water, river, mountain, cliff, rocks, trees, etc, but without much detail unless something got my attention that my mind made a special mental note of it. I can not hold a real picture in my minds eye to remember anything. I have to remember with very limited visualization.

I do dream at night and do remember basic plot, emotional impact, and some key characters at times, but practically nothing visual is remembered. Action happens in my dreams that are similar to waking experiences to quite a degree, but do not remember them visually. I can recognize things and remember them often by their name and some of their characteristics, not by a visual image.

I am not a good eyewitness, but can often figure out what went wrong and right in a situation and who was at fault. I may not be able to describe a person, other than by context through what they were doing or basically communicating. I might notice one person was big in size or was muscular. Might remember by making a mental note hair color or if they are well dressed. Just no smaller details at all.

I can not drive safely because I can not keep track visually of everything I need to in order to avoid making dangerous mistakes at times. I often make mistakes in my daily life keeping track of things if I do not focus an awful lot on not making them. I really must focus on not making costly mistakes.

I find that this world is extremely ignorant when it comes to understanding compound or complex visual memory disabilities.That they only deal with them separately as using a search engine on the Internet demonstrates. My great spiritual expertise I have developed does help me a great deal to compensate for my limitations.

I am one of a kind spiritual pioneer!

I am one of a kind, with no one really that close to the type of person I am!!! Why is that so!!! That is true because I was not only born neurologically differently abled, but I took what unique abilities I had and not only developed them due to the need to compensate for the abilities I lacked, but developed techniques and theories that enabled me to take my mind and spirit places no one would go or would have the courage and will to do so! Survival can motivate one to do amazing things and I was born into a world that made it extremely difficult for someone like me to survive and continue to survive.

I am 68 years old and at my spiritual peak right now! How I survived all these years of continuous intense struggle required miracle after miracle which only someone with a very extreme spiritual focus could bring about for themselves! I may be unbelievable to a lot of ordinary people or to most of the conforming masses in this world. But, being open to that which is extremely hard to understand is what is required in order to develop a new level of expertise in any important field of study!

We need to get the most out of what is unique in everyone of us in order to survive the really serious crises ahead of us on this planet. It all starts with the spiritual that underlies all of our reality! We all need to reprogram ourselves spiritually so that we can get a lot more out of ourselves! The inadequate and addictive spiritual programming of the past need to be replaced with more advanced and more rational and reality based spiritual programming! I have so much on the internet related to my very unique and advanced spiritual theories and meditative techniques I have developed! I also have information on the new astrology system I have also developed over decades of spiritual creativity and trial and error with all the knowledge we have now, that the ancients did not have! I need an awful lot of word of mouth to get my ideas to those who are able to value them!  Here is my link to a lots of my valuable links on the internet:

https://astrogoodwin.wordpress.com/2017/10/09/links-to-my-spiritual-stuff-on-internet/

Sexual energy and intimacy are not that limited by ones anatomy or physical features!

Sexually a lot of people get overly caught up in “bigger is better” or other size or shape related criteria! Sexually, a lot of variations in size and shape can function well if used well! Sexual energy can be used spiritually and do a lot of good in this world. Too much of an emphasis on biological desires exists in this world with a lot of serious problems resulting from this! Lesbians can give pleasure to each other without the need of the male sexual organ and gay males can do so without the female sexual organ , so having certain types of sexual equipment is not as absolute a requirement for everyone in order to create sexual/spiritual connection as most people would believe! No matter what sexual equipment some one is born with even if it is of the intersex variety can be made to function really well! One has to become more creative and also bring in more of the most important aspect of connecting deeply with another human being which is spiritual. Being to hung up on sex done a certain way can really limit oneself. It is important to understand that sexual expression that harms ones health or wellbeing is also abusive(does harm) to one spiritually and is best avoided ! As one evolves spiritually ones sexual energy will find a lot of better more evolved ways to express itself! Desires that are misdirected or out of control are causing all kinds of harmful addictions in this world with the abuse of body and spirit that comes with it. Abusive relationships often involve sexual addiction or sexual energy misdirected. An inadequate spiritual connection can not be fixed through ones sexual activity with another person no matter how hard one tries to do this.

 

Sexual orientation or attraction issues are a lot more complicated than most people realize! For example some people may even narrow their attraction to things like hair color or other physical features! Size and shape of sexual features can also play too much of a role in choosing a partner. One can screen out a lot of potential relationships based on criterium that is not relevant enough, thus eliminating a lot of those who could be really great life long romantic and spiritual partners! We need to focus on relationships of all types in our lives that are really beneficial to our well being! Spiritually we need to always strive to do that which moves us in a more positive and healthy direction for us and those we connect with in various ways in our lives. We can not eliminate the complexity that is part of life and one becomes more aware of when one evolves further spiritually! Intersex individuals do exist and can not be ignored or just classified as an abnormality! Overly rigid type labels often hold back people’s spiritual development by overly locking themselves into perspectives that limit how well they can perceive how complicated reality really is. As one develops further spiritually one become better able to handle the complexity of the challenging reality we exist in. Our criteria for judging who would work best for us as an intimate partner will evolve as we evolve spiritually!

This world tries to get rid of me, but fails!!!!

I have to be so healthy physically and spiritually to survive in a world that is so stressful/challenging to someone as unique as me! The accident over a year ago on around Easter in Houston, TX that dislocated my right shoulder could have weakened me to the point that my body could have given out on me. My right elbow and right foot were swollen afterwards and it took me some time and great effort to remove the toxicity causing this. I did not stop exercising physically and spiritually despite the difficulty involved, since I needed the fitness! I fought through the adversity and am now in Las Vegas trying to make something happen here! My right shoulder never was fixed and is still dislocated, but I have been pushing it too its limit every day, and it is becoming more useful every day. The medical profession does not seem to be very helpful to me! This world keeps trying to do me in, BUT THAT IS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN UNTIL I AM READY TO LEAVE HERE!!!!!See this “about” blog post to learn more about me:

https://astrogoodwin.wordpress.com/2019/05/22/here-is-the-about-section-of-my-blog-site-for-those-who-may-miss-it/

Here are links to some previous posts on my shoulder dislocation:

https://astrogoodwin.wordpress.com/2018/11/22/update-on-shoulder-dislocation-recovery-problem/

https://astrogoodwin.wordpress.com/2018/04/07/how-am-i-feeling-6-days-after-my-shoulder-was-dislocated-and-put-back-early-easter-sunday/

https://astrogoodwin.wordpress.com/2018/05/29/pictures-showing-very-limited-range-of-motion-in-shoulder/

Who we choose to be close to as a strong impact on us spiritually:

I am so unique that not many people can understand me very well and most won’t make the effort. My survival in this world has always required i pick my friends very carefully! I do not need people connected with me that drain my energy and offer little value in return. We only have so much energy to offer those we are connected with, so it helps to choose friends that support us and give us a good return on what we are able to offer them. Spiritually we are a lot more connected to those we are invested in emotionally than most people understand. Change our friends or loved ones we change ourselves, and changing ourselves requires we adjust our friends and loved ones.

  • Thomas Goodwin "astrogoodwin"